Woodside Warriors Cricket Club
Where even the blind, morbidly obese people with no arms can play
TOP TRUMPERS
Player profiles now in top trump format!
All ratings out of five.
Print them out! Play with your friends! Lose your friends!
CAPTAIN RICHARD KUNZ
Batting 3 *
Bowling 4
Fielding 1
Comedy value 5
Tactical awareness 0
Special move - bleating - 4
Injury prone 2
*Lowered for nurdling
VICE CAPTAIN TOM 'Sticky Hands' DZIEDZIC
Batting -1
Bowling 0
Fielding (Keeping) 4
Comedy value 4
Tactical Awareness 1
Special Skill - eating cake - 3
Injury Prone - 4
Sponsored by: "BITCH MIST- The deodorant for inbetweeners'
STE STEAD
Batting 3
Bowling 4
Fielding 3
Comedy value 3
Tactical awareness 2
Special move - bleating - 3
Injury prone 3
GRAEME ' JIM ' STEAD
Batting 3
Bowling 2
Fielding 3
Comedy value 4
Tactical awareness 1
Special move - abuse - 4
Injury prone 1
SPONSORED BY = 'Top Star Cola - available from ALDI'
JOHN 'JK' KENNY
Batting 3
Bowling 2
Fielding 5
Comedy value 3
Tactical awareness 4
Special move - flashing blade 3
Injury prone 3
SPONSORED BY 'O'MALLEY'S LUCKY HEATHER AND PEGS'
GARY 'POT NURDLE' BAINES
Batting 2
Bowling 5
Fielding 4
Comedy value 2
Tactical awareness 2
Special move - nurdling - 4
Injury prone 1
MATT 'PAXY' PAXFORD
Batting 4
Bowling 3
Fielding 0
Comedy value 3
Tactical awareness 4
Special move - dropping catches - 3
Injury prone 1
NICK 'RING' RANK
Batting 3
Bowling 4
Fielding 3
Comedy value 3
Tactical awareness 4
Special move - missing an entire season - 1
Injury prone 10 (out of 5)
PETER 'JAXY' JACKSON
Batting 5
Bowling 4
Fielding 3
Comedy value 3
Tactical awareness 2
Special move - abuse - 4
Injury prone 1
STEVE DOVENER
Batting 3
Bowling 4
Fielding 3
Comedy value 3
Tactical awareness 0
Special move - Patios - 3
Injury prone 3
J 'JP' PARKINSON
Batting 1
Bowling 4
Fielding 4
Comedy value 4
Tactical awareness 2
Special move - head-butting walls 3
Injury prone 8 out of 5
Brian Southgate
Batting 4
Bowling 4
Fielding 3
Comedy value 5
Tactical awareness 0
Special move - Arresting people -3
Injury prone 1
SUE 'KENNY'
Batting 2
Bowling 3
Fielding 3
Comedy value 2
Tactical awareness 2
Special move - Embarrassing JK-3
Injury prone 1
Malcolm Ross
Batting 3
Bowling 3
Fielding 2
Comedy value 3
Tactical awareness 3
Special move - experience - 4
Injury prone 5
Danny And Adam
Batting N/A
Bowling N/A
Fielding 4
Comedy value 3
Tactical awareness 4
Special move - Looking for Insect life and Eating - 4
Injury prone 4
