Woodside Warriors Cricket Club

Where even the blind, morbidly obese people with no arms can play

Can you be a woodie?

Please fill the official Woodside application form below. Make sure you enter your email address correctly. Successful applications may or may not play for us and may or may not receive something from us.
 *Can you bowl?
Yes
No
Don't know
*Can you bat?
Yes
No
Don't Know
*Do you have a sense of humour?
Yes
Certainly not
I have a sense of smell does that count?
*Have you ever played for England?
Yes
No
Can't remember
No but I can use a pedalo
*Are you blind, morbidly obese and have no arms?
Yes, I can be a wicketkeeper
No, but I can wicket keep
 *What special talents do you have? (tick all that apply)
I am a millionaire with my own pitch
I am Austrailian
I have a problem with gingers in authority
The whole concept of nurdling is alien to me
The voices have quietened now
I own a brewery
I am a violent reoffender who may be able to help influencing umpires
I can fly
I can reverse swing
I swing
What are your thoughts on cricket? (tick all that apply)
It's the best sport ever
It's dull
I liked it after the Ashes win but now my interest is rapidly waning
Cricket? i thought this was a porn website
Cricket is the unpleasantness before the beer
Cricket is slightly less boring way of getting a tan than sunbathing
I want to play netball but people will laugh at me
 How many fingers do you have?
1-5
6-10
More than 10
More than 10 but the extras are someone elses