Woodside Warriors Cricket Club

St Marks recieved a cricketting beating last night when Woodside, sans Kunz, began the chase for trophies as awards season (night) approached.

Kunz made a brave attempt for 'Prat of the year' (or whatever we call it) by shamelessly wearing a helmet IN THE NETS. Is there no bowels of depravity to which this man will reach? Not only that but he forced his team to arrive early in the nets from 5.30. He then invoked that old 3 over rule chestnut.

Kenny refused to play because he was 'protecting his averages', a decision which he may begin to rue as Jim Stead got another 27 not out as he chased Kenny's lead in the averages.

Paul Rhodes made an audacious bid to rob Ste Stead (sheepishly quiet after dropping helmet boy Kunz), of his monopolised Bleater of the Year trophy as he moaned nonsensically for about an hour when Snowy gave a wide against him.

Andy Norris declared himself 'the best there's ever been' as he got another 2 wickets with his washing machine style of bowling nonsense.

The Woodies batted first, opening with an injured Baines and Brian who went on to top score after loan fielder Jim Stead dropped a dolly-drop an almost impossible catch. Jacko came in and scored plenty for a change, as did Jim 'you wont find me protecting my averages' Stead.

A brief comedy interlude came from Andy's mate Ron, (who is in the running for the smallest contribution made for the Woodies award with Dovey), as he hit himself in the chin and fell and hurt his knee on the second ball. Luckily, his chin is apparently made from titanium, unluckily, his knees are made from cottage cheese (the only cheese guaranteed to please).

Paxy nurdled us all to death in another 'averages protection racket' at the other end only to be joined by part timer Drewster who courageously thwacked a four in one of the two balls he faced. We finished on 150ish.

The Woodies bowled in a generally efficient style. Paul was a bit wayward early on but recovered but shouting and bleating about wides and that. Once a year man Drewster, bowled with unusual style and poise and got a wicket when batsmen tried to hoof one over Paxy's head. Somehow Paxy caught it and earned himself some fielding respect at last.

Ste Stead dropped Kunz (of all people), off Brian's bowling to much abuse from his team-mates. It was a remarkably similar drop to Jim's earlier prompting comments about some genetic catching deficiency in the Stead family tree.

In a hardly shocking move, Brian decided to BAT FOR BOTH SIDES. However, his St Marks stint was less successful as Jim proved to be better at bowling than fielding with Paul catching him out now that he had finally stopped whining on about wides.

Ste Stead, Baines and Paxy all bowled well and Paxy got ANOTHER spectacular catch. Facing an uphill task for the last 4 overs St Mark's were gifted some runs by Jacko's second wafty bowling stint (since injured Ron couldn't continue). Paxy had an extra over and Andy Norris jangled the nerves for the last few overs as he threw some wides down before bowling Snowy in comedic fashion and then tempting another batsmen to lob one near top fielder Drewster who took a highly confident one-handed catch off the last ball.