Woodside Warriors Cricket Club

Former Captain Kunz was out last night FIRST BALL with a most embarrassing of golden ducks as St. Marks crumbled against a Warriors team emboldened by the lack of Tom and Paxy.

The million pound ball by Baines sent one of the bails into space which is currently being tracked by NASA in case it hits the International space station.

Top bowler Baines is currently considering his career as in his words 'I have scaled the height's now cricket does not get better than this, I may go on Britain's got talent like Susan Boyle'.

A village in Bhutan has already built a golden statue (pictured above), to commemorate the occasion.

Kunz looks back at his stumps yesterday

The third string Woodside team cruised to victory against a St. Marks side full of ringers.

St. Marks were left chasing an impossible total following a batting masterclass by the Stead boys who smacked Kunz and co around the park willy-nilly. Aided by Nick and his sister Jeanette and the ever reliable 'Extras', the Stead brothers made up for Jacko, JK , postie Mick, Tidswell, Andy Norris and Dave Hartley (who all did f**k all).

With only 7 regulars and 2 people who hadn't played for over 20 years, and lining up against a team full of ringers, the Woodies new opening bowling attack of Ricky T and Noz again got a wicket a piece to put St. Marks under pressure. As the runs mounted so did the wickets especially as Ste Stead bowled 2 in his first 2 balls.

As the innings closed stand in keeper Baines, took off his pads to deliver 2 great overs and one devastating ball the annihilated Kunz's middle peg and won the Woodies the match by 8 runs.

Stand out preformances from Ste Stead (batting and bowling), Jim (batting) and Jeanette (batting and bowling despite 20 year lay off), saw the Woodies home with style.