Woodside Warriors Cricket Club

Repeat:

No Kunz Wickets

No Tom Boundaries

We are meeting at 8pm at the Wetherspoons Gary

8pm, Wetherspoons

Woodside's annual magical night out and award ceremony is confirmed for the 12th of November!

Bowling and batting awards are being hotly contested unlike the most injuries of the year award or the most improved player of the year award.

We can confirm: No Kunz wickets, no Tom boundary.

The stats have been counted and recounted and counted again, but i still cant find a way of getting Richard a wicket, or a boundary for Tom. Only the scores in the book count. There are a few surprise contenders for the best batter and bowler, but no big surprises for the bleaters of the year. The trophies for the worst injury's goes to mrs Stead, Stephen Stead, Stephen Stead and Stephen Stead.

Overseas player JP Parkinson scared walls everywhere by announcing the birth of his son Eli Robert Parkinson.

Weighing in at a healthy 7lb 8oz,  you Eli was born on Wednesday the 14th of September.

Well done JP and family!

From all the Woodies! Even Tom.

Well, it's nearly that time of year when either Gary or myself attempt to run the Great North Run again.  Unlike Gary I obviously don't try hard enough at running and that is why I can manage to get home after the event without a two day rest in hospital.

So I'm sure you are all aware last year I didn't beat Gary's time of just under 2 hrs.  Mine was 2 hrs 8 minutes.  This year I am running for Suzie Jeng. Who is a neighbour of mine.  If you would like to sponsor me feel free to email or leave a comment on here. 

She was recently diagnosed with cancer caused by exposure to asbestos.  If you require any further info let me know and I will send you some more details gladly.  I am running on the 18th September so whilst you are all enjoying beating St Marks and Richard again, feel free to think of the agony I will be going through trying to beat last years time and hopefully Gary's.

I will be more than happy for sponsorship on our annual night out around Bingley whenever that is also.

Cheers

Mathew

Top run scoring Steve Stead was spotted today checking into Britain's top sports clinic today by gathering papparazzi ( someone from the Aire Valley Target ! ).

''After this season's toll it was no wonder Ste's back would break under such end of season pressure'' said a local world renowed Physiotherapist whom wished not to be named.

Steve Stead has come under criticism that he only has a good batting average because he retires hurt everytime a decent bowler comes on, so people are pleased that at least one of his injuries seems genuine.

Steve was not the only Woodside player to visit the famous institute in Poplar House but a court order has been issued to obscure Steve Doverner's name.................oooops.

Only a strong mental state and strenuous exercise can save them from disaster.................oh dear !

The Weight of Expectation Weighs Heavily On The Creaking Steve Stead

Andy Norris struts his stuff at Crom Park yesterday.

The mighty warriors final games of the season ended in high drama yesterday as Mrs Stead's untimely entrance do not proceed exactly according to plan.

Mrs Stead, mother of Steve and Jim Stead was temporarily dazzled by Crom Park's tombola and fell off some concrete steps and broke her arm. Unofficial warriors first aider John Kenny's experience proved invaluable as he prevented a passing 'nurse' from rolling Mrs S onto her broken shoulder.

"i'm not a first aider but I've played a lot of sport" said JK, after preventing more damage being made before the ambulance arrived.

Mrs Stead is back at home after her trip to hospital being looked after by former Woodies stalwart John Stead. The x ray found she had broken her humorous near her shoulder joint.

The incident was so dramatic that no one can remember what happened on the pitch in the 2 matches. The only evidence we have of what went on is this excellent picture of Andy Norris getting wicket splatted.

Mrs Stead would like to thank the Woodies for their concern.

The jangly warriors grabbed a long awaited victory at Ilkley on thursday, by making their presence felt where it mattered, by the barbeque.

Richard's delicate control of the BBQ won much admiration

Captain Kunz opened the grilling finding plenty of turn with a spatula, and some neat control with some tongs. Jim soon took over but then quickly passed responsibility onto Bev who was cold. The bbq generally preformed well until we ran out of breadrolls and cutlery.

On the cricket pitch, the Woodies bowled and fielded with unerring and relentless precison. New boy Mick took a fine catch as did bleater-in-chief Paul, who had calmed down after his mid-over paddy.

Jim dropped a sitter. Balding sparky bowled well.

Ilkley were limited to a middling 127 off 22 overs (both teams had an extra man).

Dovey and JK opened the batting with contrasting styles. Dovey basically did nothing while Kenny simply spun around on the spot everytime the ball approached. JK's technique was more effective.

Baines and Jacko faired better than Andy 'Whoops' Norris who is doing a sterling impression of Dovey last season.

Woodside cruised past ilkley's score under the stewardship of Kunz and Jim ( who had dramatically raised the run rate when he smelt the BBQ).

Fresh from his holiday Tom Dziedzic, displayed a generally more stable preformance than normal.

Ste Stead's Injury Last Night

The mighty warriors website finally got off its arse last night despite Norris and Tom being on holiday and thus out of the firing line of accuracy and truth.

The woodies played at riddlesden for the second time in 3 weeks, and for the second time came up just short (missus).

The Riddler wicket proved tough to play on, with nearly everyone on both sides being bowled, apart from Kunz who always has to be different.

Some reasonable Woodie bowling limited Riddlesden to 106 which would have been less has Ste Stead's bowling not been so erratic.

The Woodies batting started slowly then tailed off with Kunz flaffing a bit, and everyone else just being crap. Everyone apart from Paxy and Jim that is who brought back into contention with a 40+ partnership.

Ste Stead tried to make amends but after a promising start, snapped his hamstring.

The Woodies finished 8 short but consoled themselves with burgers, especially Dovey and his bubble wand.

No because I scored 27 runs....

Medics attempting to resusitate Andy's Woodside career

The season started properly for Woodside last night with an entertaining win over a plucky Ilkley.

The outbreak of Wideitis of last week had clearly burnt itself out as Andy bowled a couple of overs that werent a disgrace for a change.

Thirteen stone Jim Stead got 2 wickets and Paxy fielded quite well on his season debut which amazed most but his bowling was the usual garbage. After a couple of expensive overs from Paul, Ilkley finished on a creditable 132.

The Woodies began their batting stint in total farce (see below video), as JK and Brian forgot that runs required both of them to run not just one person running 2. Despite this flapping and some high-end nurdling from Jacko,  all woodies batsmen preformed well and reached the Ilkley total with 2 overs to spare.